Profiting off Insecurities

Published on 13 August 2021 at 12:57

Where does our own identity begins and which extremes are we willing to put ourselves through to live up to the identity that once gave us freedom, but now has enchained us? 

Profiting off Insecurities

A young woman dies after complications from plastic surgery! This was the news title a read. The amount of these cases are rising! So I started my research into what drives our inner motives to such extreme actions?

Before I can  answer this question, I had to go back to the beginning. At birth a baby is perfect and wonderful. It starts to develop into a toddler: walking and talking and before you know it this world teaches this young being that we are separate from one another. A child gets to learn that everyone has an “identity”. Shortly after a child starts to look for clues to what are the features that a certain “identity” has. After a really vague search during the puberty, a young adult picks out an identity and does “what it takes” to be as close as possible to the identity of it’s liking.

Not for a second it dawns upon a human being that we are free to identify ourselves in any way and form that brings us happiness. Slowly a person becomes enchained in the identity that once brought them freedom.

I ask you now the question: ‘did you get to really choose the identity that you have today? What were your role models? Was it real people you grew up with? Or were they people in magazines/tv or music? I ask for our minds can’t distinguished real life from scripted media.

I remember while growing up, my parents didn’t really speak to me or really listened to me either. I had so many questions about this world and didn’t really know were to find the answers. What was most accessible was tv, magazines and radio. My young mind thought because this information was so accessible, “it must be true”. And so my identity started to form. I remember having this beautiful huge afro as a child, but my mother didn’t know how to work with it and one day asked me: “ do you want to “relax” your hair?” I saw the little girl on the box of the relaxer and thought: “ I am going to have hair like barbie”. I agreed, yet in that moment no one told me how painful this journey would be,  psychically nor psychologically.

I started to conclude that the people that are being praised on all media outlets didn’t look nothing like me, so maybe I should aspire to look more like the people that are being praised, maybe than and only than I would get praised too!

And so the rat race began for me! Always aspiring to be something that was always just out of my reach! When I moved from a small island to the Netherlands I got to talk to people from all over the world. What I found out was astonishing, for I was aiming to look like them and they were aiming to look like me! I came  to the conclusion that we are living in a gaslighted state of mind!

I started to question the identity I was trying to achieve. For every time I would obtain a new accomplishment that I thought would get me closer to the identity I wanted, I still felt empty and incomplete! So I needed to step back an reflect. I really needed to be honest with myself and ask myself: “what am I really seeking? What is it that I really strive to obtain? Is it the identity that I want or is it something much more profound? Is it self-acceptance/selflove/ self-worth I seek?

I had to burn-out in order to sit still and really sit with myself and stop participating in the rat race. I came to the revelation that it’s not the money I want, it’s the freedom that I associated with it. The freedom to not having to work a job I don’t love to pay the lifestyle that doesn’t even bring me true happiness. I associated money with the freedom of having all the time in the world to do all the things I always wanted to do. While sitting with myself I heard the voice of silence. The answer was clear as day: “I already have all the time and freedom in the world, it’s my limiting beliefs that are holding me hostage”

This acknowledgement that my beliefs are holding me hostage, shifted my reality, forever. I started to reflect and seek the root of my current beliefs. Research shows  that media outlets use a form of hypnosis to promote the product they are selling. Hypnosis, also referred to as hypnotherapy/ hypnotic suggestion, is a trance-like state in which a human being experiences a heightened focus and concentration. When a person experiences hypnosis, they are feeling calm, relaxed and are more open to “suggestions”.

How Hypnosis is induced is through a guided process with verbal cues and repetition. For example: you see/hear this advertisement continuously with the words: “This is what I want” with a picture of a human being pointing towards the product that is being suggested! This advertisement will be constantly repeated to the extent that you internalize the suggestions and beliefs that buying a certain product will give you fulfillment.

I noticed my personal experiences is that one day I would have this uncontrollable feeling/ urge/ obsession to buy something. After I bought the item, I felt so used, but I didn’t know why. During my research I was shocked to see in how many countries and states hypnosis is legal to be used outside of therapeutic purposes. I believe that everyone should question everything! So don’t just take my word for it, I am just another stranger on the internet you have never met. Do your own research! And figure out if hypnosis is legal where you live!

Knowing what I know now, I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self that all those ‘models” in  magazines have been photoshopped and be mindful of the celebrities you look up too, for they wish they were half as wonderful as you already are! Identify with direct role models and superheroes in your life, for example your parents/ friends that feed you and cloth you everyday.

Everybody wants to change the world, yet in holistic practices it comes down to “you are the world”. Ask yourself what exactly do you want to see change and then ask yourself “what is my role in this today?” The external world is just a reflection of what is going on inside of yourself. With this in mind, wanting to change to outer world, you must change your inner world first. This is where psychology and the subconscious mind comes in to play.

I have written this article due to me getting really tired of seeing wonderful human beings stepping out of this life not knowing how wonderful and powerful they truly are! Everybody is waiting for this one great savior to come down from the skies and safe everybody. Not knowing that the true savior is staring back at you in the mirror!


5 Tips on how to get wonderful mental health:

  • Yoga
  • Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Affirmations
  • Clean up your diet
  • Shadow work

Finding inner peace is a very important aspect of obtaining a successful life. This can be reached by calming the mind while combining exercise and yoga. On the internet there are enough 10 min yoga and exercise videos. Pick one that resonates with you. Take your time to find which one feels the best for you! And slowly build up from there! 

Meditation is a practice where you use your breath while you focus in the mind on a particular object, thought or activity: to train attention and awareness and achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm and stable state. I am from the Caribbean, so to me blasting loud music, gardening or cooking food (anything that brings me joy, basically), brought me into a meditative state, until I got better at it and I no longer needed any external help anymore to meditate.

Affirmations are a positive statement that is repeated and is internalized in the mind to be a true fact! Examples are: “I am complete”/ I am protected/ I am safe”. What our minds convinces us to be true, becomes our psychical reality.

Foods can manipulate our moods! Be very mindful of the food and liquids you consume. Having a clean diet becomes your greatest weapon against a chaotic world. Clean foods stimulates shiny clear skin, a calm mind and body that has no aches and pains!

Shadow work is also known as working with the unconscious aspect of the personality that the conscious ego does not identify in itself. The shadow of ones being is the entirety of the unconscious: everything of which a person is not fully conscious of. In other words the shadow is the unknown side of ones being. During shadow work you learn on how to gently get to a deeper understanding of your own existence and  you inner motives that create your thoughts and reality!

As a psychologist what I have learned from my ow practices is that “ the intention with which you approach a subject, is the same intention you are going to receive”. In other words  the energy you go in to shadow work, is the energy you will receive. For example my intention is “ I want to know what my purpose in this life is and how do I achieve it” Slowly you unconscious will reveal to you the path. Approach your shadow with kindness, love an compassion and see how this life becomes a wonderful adventure!

I compare shadow work with the process when the caterpillar goes into the cocoon. The change that happens in that cocoon is out of this world. Resisting the change is where the pain comes from; keep breathing through all of it and go with the flow! And at times you feel you want to give up, remind yourself that you are so close to receiving your wings! You are so close to reach new heights that you couldn’t even dream before!

Do you feel as if there is a greater purposes and meaning to your life, but don’t know how to achieve? You’re in luck! I just published my book called Purpose: How to step into your greatness!”  My book is filled with stories filled with morality and deeper understanding of life! Also it comes equipped with tools on how to go through depression and stress and set yourself free from them!

I created this book with love for everyone is seeking to find themselves , find their light, find their power! I remember when I started my own journey I felt really lonely and didn’t know what I was really doing! I hope it is a wonderful guide to helping you get closer to yourself and to your own greatness!


Happy Healings,



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2 years ago

This was a very motivational, uplifting and mind opening blog. I really enjoyed reading it!